Thee Oohwee
Explorer
I'm in recovery from addiction. Over 20 years I've spent time in the rooms, and right now I've got 3 years and 2 months clean. Recovery and relapse are both familiar to me — my longest stretch was 9 years and a couple of months, which ended when back pain and opiates took me out. That's a separate tale, and not one for right now.
Secrets are something an addict like me craves. Not just likes — really fucking loves. Back when Zepbound was first prescribed to me (oh, the good ole days when insurance still paid for it last year), I got on the phone with my sponsor and we talked it through at length. A self-injecting syringe was coming my way, and I didn't want to set myself off. IV drugs were part of my past. Keeping it hidden was not an option I wanted. So open is what I've been.
Over the months that followed, people noticed the weight coming off. I said thanks, and I said Zepbound. When insurance pulled the medication out from under me — this was after a sleep study proved sleep apnea AND an abdominal scan showed some fatty liver — I talked about that struggle in meetings too. How I feel about that whole mess is NOT something I'm climbing on my soapbox about in this thread, but you should know that the callousness of our insurance companies AND big pharma here in the States still burns me up.
By then I'd spent a few months researching compounded Tirzepatide, and eventually I landed on a telehealth company I trusted enough to order from. My sponsor got another call, and this one was brutally honest. No auto-injector this time. Dose calculation, drawing it up with an insulin syringe, injecting it subcutaneously myself — all on me. Somewhere in that conversation it hit me that I had been changing. Between the Twelve Steps and already being on this medication, syringes no longer triggered me when they were for my health. "Health IS Wealth," we always say. So I went ahead and placed the order with the compounded pharmacy.
How quickly it all moved surprised me — approved, prescribed, meds sent — even right on the tail-end of the whole East Coast snow blizzard disaster. Gonna lie, y'all: that first time I picked up the syringe to draw my dose, my hands were shaking. Not from addiction, not from drugs, not from fear. Just plain ole nervousness! Deep breath, drew up the dose, pinched the skin, gave myself a shot. Easy peasy. Smooth sailing after that. I even scored a free sharps container thanks to some info I got from a post in this forum.
Then a friend in recovery mentioned he was taking Retatutride, and I started reading up on it. The more I read, the more I wanted to try it and back off the Tirz. Tirz was treating me fine, but I think some of that anhedonia folks speak of had crept in. Things just didn't spark my interest like they used to. And Reta was killing it in trials and healing up folks fatty liver stuff. My sponsor got another call. I told him what I'd learned and that I was keen on trying Reta. He said it sounded like I had done my research, and all he asked was that I keep in touch with him about side effects if they get weird or bad.
Which brings me to today. This post is about making sure I don't keep this journey a secret. Its not ego. Its not pride. Its just immense joy that I am taking back ownership of my health, even by telling the disease of addiction to STFU and have several seats. Who would've thought that someone who could not stop using IV drugs would have a box of syringes in the cabinet. With my own sharps containers. With vials of peptides in my refrigerator? The bestest part about all of this is being able to authentically be myself through this whole process. Some addicts in recovery I know don't share about their peptide use, and judging them isn't my place. I just know that, for me, I can't go that route. Getting up in front of a meeting to talk about getting peps from China might not happen, but my experiences with giving my self an injection or two each week for my continued health are def gonna get talked about.
And for those who choose to keep their peptide use a secret, this post is in no way, shape, or form condemning that. I just wanted to share about my process on this incredible journey we're all on.
Where this post was going to go, I had no idea. Originally, I was just wondering how many folks in recovery are using peps while also sharing about it with others, namely their sponsors, support groups, friends outside the Program. For me, I would rather share about it than die about it, because that's what'll happen if I start keeping it a secret.
Secrets are something an addict like me craves. Not just likes — really fucking loves. Back when Zepbound was first prescribed to me (oh, the good ole days when insurance still paid for it last year), I got on the phone with my sponsor and we talked it through at length. A self-injecting syringe was coming my way, and I didn't want to set myself off. IV drugs were part of my past. Keeping it hidden was not an option I wanted. So open is what I've been.
Over the months that followed, people noticed the weight coming off. I said thanks, and I said Zepbound. When insurance pulled the medication out from under me — this was after a sleep study proved sleep apnea AND an abdominal scan showed some fatty liver — I talked about that struggle in meetings too. How I feel about that whole mess is NOT something I'm climbing on my soapbox about in this thread, but you should know that the callousness of our insurance companies AND big pharma here in the States still burns me up.
By then I'd spent a few months researching compounded Tirzepatide, and eventually I landed on a telehealth company I trusted enough to order from. My sponsor got another call, and this one was brutally honest. No auto-injector this time. Dose calculation, drawing it up with an insulin syringe, injecting it subcutaneously myself — all on me. Somewhere in that conversation it hit me that I had been changing. Between the Twelve Steps and already being on this medication, syringes no longer triggered me when they were for my health. "Health IS Wealth," we always say. So I went ahead and placed the order with the compounded pharmacy.
How quickly it all moved surprised me — approved, prescribed, meds sent — even right on the tail-end of the whole East Coast snow blizzard disaster. Gonna lie, y'all: that first time I picked up the syringe to draw my dose, my hands were shaking. Not from addiction, not from drugs, not from fear. Just plain ole nervousness! Deep breath, drew up the dose, pinched the skin, gave myself a shot. Easy peasy. Smooth sailing after that. I even scored a free sharps container thanks to some info I got from a post in this forum.
Then a friend in recovery mentioned he was taking Retatutride, and I started reading up on it. The more I read, the more I wanted to try it and back off the Tirz. Tirz was treating me fine, but I think some of that anhedonia folks speak of had crept in. Things just didn't spark my interest like they used to. And Reta was killing it in trials and healing up folks fatty liver stuff. My sponsor got another call. I told him what I'd learned and that I was keen on trying Reta. He said it sounded like I had done my research, and all he asked was that I keep in touch with him about side effects if they get weird or bad.
Which brings me to today. This post is about making sure I don't keep this journey a secret. Its not ego. Its not pride. Its just immense joy that I am taking back ownership of my health, even by telling the disease of addiction to STFU and have several seats. Who would've thought that someone who could not stop using IV drugs would have a box of syringes in the cabinet. With my own sharps containers. With vials of peptides in my refrigerator? The bestest part about all of this is being able to authentically be myself through this whole process. Some addicts in recovery I know don't share about their peptide use, and judging them isn't my place. I just know that, for me, I can't go that route. Getting up in front of a meeting to talk about getting peps from China might not happen, but my experiences with giving my self an injection or two each week for my continued health are def gonna get talked about.
And for those who choose to keep their peptide use a secret, this post is in no way, shape, or form condemning that. I just wanted to share about my process on this incredible journey we're all on.
Where this post was going to go, I had no idea. Originally, I was just wondering how many folks in recovery are using peps while also sharing about it with others, namely their sponsors, support groups, friends outside the Program. For me, I would rather share about it than die about it, because that's what'll happen if I start keeping it a secret.
). I went through something similar, so I just wanted to offer some support.
