Ugh, the mirror gets me down, but that scale is making me smile! (Forum Therapy)

b_rad80

b_rad80

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Let me start by saying I've been down this road before—this isn't my first time trying to lose weight! Even so, I feel the need to get some things off my chest.

Things are going really well; I've dropped 63 lbs so far, so I guess I shouldn't complain. My clothes feel looser, folks keep telling me I look thinner and healthier, and the numbers on the scale confirm I'm making progress. Yet when I check my reflection, I just don't see it. In my head, it's still not where I want it to be. I'm familiar with the Paper Towel Theory, but it still frustrates me! When is the change going to be visible to me? When will I finally feel content? Perhaps I could use some therapy. Actually, I know I need therapy, but maybe this is another reason for it. 🤣 I'd have to stop spending on peps just to pay for therapy!

Right now I'm on 8 mg Reta, split into 4 mg doses twice weekly. It's doing its job, so I'll just keep pushing forward. I'm measuring my meals, tracking calories, taking the dog on more walks, and getting started at the gym. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. I can see it, and I'm moving the right way. I'm grateful for this forum—reading about what others go through and their wins keeps me going.

So, thanks for taking the time to read/listen! Feel free to share your own mental battles too. I know I'm not the only one, and we'll get through it together until I can pay for that therapy!

For now, Forum therapy. 😉

One positive thing: My dog, Jedi, is loving life right now and enjoying all the additional walks! He got a lymphoma diagnosis not long ago and has his final chemo session coming up next week. He's handled it really well, and the vet said the outcome couldn't be better at this point. So, there's a lot to be thankful for!

Life is good!
 
Keep pushing forward, buddy — you're doing amazing!

And a massive congratulations, plus ongoing prayers for Jedi's healing and many more years ahead!
 
Same here — the body I see now is definitely not the one I had the last time I was at this weight. But I've got more years behind me and more sense in my head, and honestly I've stopped caring about that sh%#.

If that helps at all: back before I dropped any weight, I looked awful whether I was dressed or not. These days, when I put something nice on, I actually look really good 🙂
 
Nice work on the progress! You're definitely not the only one dealing with this. My mirror turns on me and the scale won't cooperate either, so I focus on the positives: I genuinely have to buy jeans in a smaller size, and my BP is now sitting in the normal range. Hang in there, we'll make it.
 
b_rad80 said:

Let me start by saying I've been down this road before—this isn't my first time trying to lose weight! Even so, I feel the need to get some things off my chest.

Things are going really well; I've dropped 63 lbs so far, so I guess I shouldn't complain. My clothes feel looser, folks keep telling me I look thinner and healthier, and the numbers on the scale confirm I'm making progress. Yet when I check my reflection, I just don't see it. In my head, it's still not where I want it to be. I'm familiar with the Paper Towel Theory, but it still frustrates me! When is the change going to be visible to me? When will I finally feel content? Perhaps I could use some therapy. Actually, I know I need therapy, but maybe this is another reason for it. 🤣 I'd have to stop spending on peps just to pay for therapy!

Right now I'm on 8 mg Reta, split into 4 mg doses twice weekly. It's doing its job, so I'll just keep pushing forward. I'm measuring my meals, tracking calories, taking the dog on more walks, and getting started at the gym. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. I can see it, and I'm moving the right way. I'm grateful for this forum—reading about what others go through and their wins keeps me going.

So, thanks for taking the time to read/listen! Feel free to share your own mental battles too. I know I'm not the only one, and we'll get through it together until I can pay for that therapy!

For now, Forum therapy. 😉

One positive thing: My dog, Jedi, is loving life right now and enjoying all the additional walks! He got a lymphoma diagnosis not long ago and has his final chemo session coming up next week. He's handled it really well, and the vet said the outcome couldn't be better at this point. So, there's a lot to be thankful for!

Life is good!
Click to expand...
Yeah, I hear you on this. Reta for roughly 9 weeks now, and my total loss is sitting near 9 lbs. Weeks 1 through 8 only gave me about 4 lbs, so my head was spinning with questions about where I was screwing up.

After bumping the dose, this last week brought roughly 5 lbs off. The food noise has pretty much vanished, my appetite has dropped a lot, and at last it seems like progress is happening.

So yeah, forum therapy 😂

Also, sending Jedi all my best for his final treatment. That's fantastic news.
 
A 3-step therapy session:

1. Pull up an old picture of yourself when you weighed the most.

2. Move past the shock that this was truly how you appeared.

3. Take another look in the mirror.

That's it.
 
Honestly, a before-and-after photo set might be what you need to actually notice the difference. Snap the same shot of yourself every 30 days. Big caveat!!! You only view them when putting one photo side by side with another. So if today you shoot picture #1 and confirm it turned out okay, you don't glance at it again, not even one time, until you've taken picture #2. Things get genuinely fascinating once you compare picture #1 against picture #5.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but it genuinely does the job. Our brain tends to hide gradual day-to-day shifts from us. That's why you don't feel like you look old, yet when you see a friend for the first time in 10 years you're like... WTF happened to you?
 
Snap some photos! When it's staring right back at you, there's no arguing with it 😊
 
During showers or while putting on clothes, I get these bizarre sensations, like I'm outside myself, and I think, "That arm—whose is it?!" It can't belong to me; I'm certain of how my own arm, leg, or whatever should appear, so what's this oddly tinier limb doing there?! Once you've inhabited your own body for decades, you become so accustomed to its appearance and the amount of room it occupies, that when you suddenly notice it's clearly different from what you're used to, it's simply...strange.

Your mind will need some time to adjust to the changes your body is going through. It will happen. One day, it'll take you by surprise—just you wait.
 
spanky2026 said:

During showers or while putting on clothes, I get these bizarre sensations, like I'm outside myself, and I think, "That arm—whose is it?!" It can't belong to me; I'm certain of how my own arm, leg, or whatever should appear, so what's this oddly tinier limb doing there?! Once you've inhabited your own body for decades, you become so accustomed to its appearance and the amount of room it occupies, that when you suddenly notice it's clearly different from what you're used to, it's simply...strange.

Your mind will need some time to adjust to the changes your body is going through. It will happen. One day, it'll take you by surprise—just you wait.
Click to expand...
Back when my loss first got serious, I'd drift off to sleep stunned that I could actually sense my ribs and the area around my hip bones...

What throws me the most is this: even though hitting early goals didn't register much at the time, when I revisit old photos now, I come across as far heavier than my own mental image...

Strange how time messes with perception, and how a stretch has to pass before big shifts really sink in..
 
One minute my partner is saying, "Oh wow, things are changing!" and the next it's, "Ugh, I can't believe I've been doing this so long and I'm not making any progress!" I've asked her to keep those flip-flops to a maximum of once per day, otherwise I'm going to end up with whiplash 😂

I can see the changes happening. She sees that she hasn't reached her goal yet. And she won't until she does, but as long as she sticks with what she's doing, she'll get there eventually. Sometimes that's a tough thing to trust in.
 
Work trip kept me slammed! Just walked in the door and now it's back to my own shop for work! Thanks to each of you for the encouragement and kind thoughts for Jedi!

Skidude said:

Same here — the body I see now is definitely not the one I had the last time I was at this weight. But I've got more years behind me and more sense in my head, and honestly I've stopped caring about that sh%#.

If that helps at all: back before I dropped any weight, I looked awful whether I was dressed or not. These days, when I put something nice on, I actually look really good 🙂
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I've still got formal wear sitting around from roughly 10 years back, from the previous time I dropped a bunch of weight. I'm eager for the day I can pull them out! It'll be a while. Still, I always figured I'd fit into them again someday!

Just A Cat said:

Honestly, a before-and-after photo set might be what you need to actually notice the difference. Snap the same shot of yourself every 30 days. Big caveat!!! You only view them when putting one photo side by side with another. So if today you shoot picture #1 and confirm it turned out okay, you don't glance at it again, not even one time, until you've taken picture #2. Things get genuinely fascinating once you compare picture #1 against picture #5.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but it genuinely does the job. Our brain tends to hide gradual day-to-day shifts from us. That's why you don't feel like you look old, yet when you see a friend for the first time in 10 years you're like... WTF happened to you?
Click to expand...
that's a smart plan, I'll throw together a collage with google photos and line them up next to each other, maybe that'll keep my head happy for now!
 
Here's something that will really get under your skin down the road... (and I'm hoping this doesn't bring you down)

At this moment, your mind is stuck on perceiving you as bigger. After your mind adjusts to the thinner version of you... You'll revisit those "big you" photos and "sense" that you were 2x the size in them compared to how you view yourself now.

Yep, those pictures of big you (that none of us feel good about) will genuinely appear to worsen even more once your mind settles into the thinner you.

When that moment arrives, simply head to the mirror and say... I'm so proud that I've flipped that around.
 
have fun, buddy

it gets even harder once body dysmorphia shows up

more muscle

more ab definition

fuller appearance

rounder

BIGGER

BIGGER

did i mention bigger BIGGER
 
"But when I look in the mirror, I don’t see it."

I totally get what you mean, @b_rad80. My weight loss started in December, and because it's been quite some time since I last did this, plus I've moved into a completely different age group, my "new" physique feels visually alien to me now. The areas where I've lost weight aren't the same as before. I'm still not matching my actual shape with the image in my mind.

I was browsing online, debating between a pair of pants, cross-referencing their sizing chart with my updated measurements, and it just wasn't adding up. How could I possibly be that size? A few days later, after pushing past my doubt, I went ahead and bought them. The pants arrived at my door . . . and they fit?!

This is my first encounter with body dysmorphia. It's so strange! A part of me keeps thinking I'll wake up tomorrow and those 48 pounds will be right back on me. My big round booty is gone, and so are my thick thighs. I've lost a whole-ass ass. Yet I'm half-convinced the pants won't fit tomorrow, when I plan to wear them.

Long live Jedi!
 
When you check yourself in the mirror, keep your cloths on. Just 1 time a month, though. Every month, snap a fresh picture and set it side by side with the older 1. A difference will show up.
 
b_rad80 said:

Let me start by saying I've been down this road before—this isn't my first time trying to lose weight! Even so, I feel the need to get some things off my chest.

Things are going really well; I've dropped 63 lbs so far, so I guess I shouldn't complain. My clothes feel looser, folks keep telling me I look thinner and healthier, and the numbers on the scale confirm I'm making progress. Yet when I check my reflection, I just don't see it. In my head, it's still not where I want it to be. I'm familiar with the Paper Towel Theory, but it still frustrates me! When is the change going to be visible to me? When will I finally feel content? Perhaps I could use some therapy. Actually, I know I need therapy, but maybe this is another reason for it. 🤣 I'd have to stop spending on peps just to pay for therapy!

Right now I'm on 8 mg Reta, split into 4 mg doses twice weekly. It's doing its job, so I'll just keep pushing forward. I'm measuring my meals, tracking calories, taking the dog on more walks, and getting started at the gym. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. I can see it, and I'm moving the right way. I'm grateful for this forum—reading about what others go through and their wins keeps me going.

So, thanks for taking the time to read/listen! Feel free to share your own mental battles too. I know I'm not the only one, and we'll get through it together until I can pay for that therapy!

For now, Forum therapy. 😉

One positive thing: My dog, Jedi, is loving life right now and enjoying all the additional walks! He got a lymphoma diagnosis not long ago and has his final chemo session coming up next week. He's handled it really well, and the vet said the outcome couldn't be better at this point. So, there's a lot to be thankful for!

Life is good!
Click to expand...
From my peak weight, I've shed about 65 pounds too, and my feelings match yours completely. You're absolutely not the only one! For me, I suspect a piece of it is knowing I've still got plenty of distance left to cover, which makes looking at myself in the mirror frustrating. But hey—every week, my odds of suddenly dying from a heart attack drop a bit more 😉
 
Nice work on those 63lbs, that's seriously impressive! I'm down 30 myself and feeling good about where things are headed—though the tiny bit of butt I used to have has completely vanished!

Don't stop now—and honestly, venting here can work just as well as any other kind of therapy!
 
Nice job on shedding the pounds. Sadly, when obesity has reached a certain point, stripping off the weight becomes a drawn-out, tedious grind—even with glp drugs smoothing the path, shifting a large amount of weight simply demands plenty of time. Because it happens so gradually, your mind adjusts to your appearance day by day, which makes spotting the changes genuinely difficult: daily nothing seems different, and the mental image of your starting body keeps being replaced as the pounds come off. Giving yourself recognition for whatever you manage to accomplish really matters—by now you have likely slashed long-term health dangers considerably, even if the scale goes no lower.

For me, the clearest shift showed up when walking uphill: every 10 kilos I lost transformed how much effort it took. Clothes sizes told the story too—going from 7xl down to 3xl because they began looking absurdly huge, then xl, and onward. Even after reaching 64 kg from 145, I still appear somewhat fat, since the bulk of remaining excess fat sits in my lower abdomen. No doubt it is worsened by roughly half a square meter of extra skin that once covered my far bigger gut, so now all that skin plus its subcutaneous fat has contracted to under half the area, which makes it thicker or fatter.
 
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