The emotional release that comes with seeing how everyone else actually lives

I appreciate every reply and reaction here. I went through each one more than once. Replying to each person one by one isn't possible, but what I'm enjoying is the common humanity running through this whole thread. Don't stop posting them.

And to those who offered nice words about my writing, thank you as well. Getting my own feelings about all this out was the reason I sat down and wrote it, so learning that it landed for even 1 person makes me incredibly happy.
 
I get this completely. For the whole time I've been with my partner, she'll be partway through a meal, set her fork down, and announce she's done (regular portions, not massive restaurant servings), and I've always been amazed at how effortlessly she does it. When I ask, she says her stomach tells her she's full and she pays attention to it. Meanwhile, for as long as I can remember, my stomach has never signaled fullness until I'd eaten myself sick.

I used to plan out my next meals in my head....my connection to food was awful. The first time a GLP took that weight off my mind, I was stunned. My thought matched yours exactly - this is how my partner moves through her day, eating to live rather than living to eat, the way one of my parents always hammered into me.
 
kugelblitz said:

This isn't my 1st rodeo with GLP-1 medication, though it has been quite a while since the last time — I had to stop liraglutide because of what it cost. Yesterday I injected 1 mg of retatrutide, and now it's 5 pm and I've gone the entire day without eating. I'm sure nobody in this community needs me to explain how huge that is for me, but honestly I couldn't explain it even if I wanted to, since no words I possess come close to conveying the scale of it.

For my whole life I've been at minimum overweight, and for the most part obese. Being viewed by the world as someone with a normal weight is something I have never experienced. That said, it has never been what defines me, and by and large I haven't had too hard a time being accepted by society. The mockery and derision that others — women in particular — have faced because of their weight is definitely not something I've ever felt. Being a man, apart from a handful of bros who don't actually mean me any harm, polite society is much too... polite, well, to make it obvious.

Even so, I have spent more days than I could count asking myself why I am the way I am. What stops me from controlling myself? Others can do it; is there something so lacking in whatever makes a person a person that I'm forced to stuff my face, give in to every craving, and eat both compulsively and without thought? This always stood out to me so sharply because, by my nature, I have almost no other vices at all. Smoking is something I've never done, recreational drugs are not something I use, I drink very little alcohol, and I've never gambled any significant sum. Every other part of my life has shown me what self-control feels like — except this one.

Control is something I have attempted. I have tried SO HARD. More nights than I can count were spent fighting myself over whether to get out of bed and eat whatever looked edible. More hours than I can count went into the gym; I dropped a great deal of weight purely through willpower and meticulous calorie counting, and the instant life drained away my singular focus, I was right back where I started, putting the weight on again. Every approach has been tried.

And then, 1 mg of a white powder sent to me by a somewhat questionable Chinese lab and... blessed silence. It's finished. As if someone flipped a switch. It's vanished. Is this really the way other people live? They aren't driven by some biological quirk to devote at least part of every waking moment to thoughts of the next meal? They simply go about their lives, eating to meet their energy needs rather than in a futile effort to fill some endless pit inside them that dooms them either to cramming food into their mouths or to obsessively dwelling on the next time they'll cram food into their mouths.

Honestly, now that the proof of my own experience has hit me this hard, I don't know what to do with myself. Perhaps — just perhaps — I need to think about setting down all the guilt that has pressed on me even more heavily than all the excess weight I've carried my entire life. Could it be that this isn't entirely my fault?

I hope you'll pardon all this rambling. A genuine moment of catharsis is happening to me right now, and the only chance I have of reaching anyone who might get it is you, my dear internet strangers.

If this moment I'm in right now is one you've had too, please say so. I'd like to hear it.

Thank you for putting up with me.
Click to expand...
That was a great read! What you're putting into words so vividly is addiction — here, the patterns of behavior tied to eating. Food isn't my struggle, but other substances are, so I get it.

And yeah — that's what a 'normal' connection to food and diet feels like — pretty great, right?
 
The morning after my first day hit me like a sudden revelation. I remember thinking…wow, so this is what life is supposed to feel like. Everything clicked. I can finally just live like a normal person.
 
Judging by your username and where you're located, I'm guessing English isn't your native tongue. Was this written directly in English, or did you translate it from the language you grew up with? Whichever it was, it's a lovely piece of writing, and it captures something nearly everyone in this community has lived through but often can't put into words.

For me, food noise fits into the category of a seeking behavior. My old relationship with food resembled the way someone thinks about sex or a drug — a pleasure to chase after. Before I started injecting an incretin mimetic, an enormous share of my time went toward thinking about food, fantasizing about it, browsing recipes, and counting down to the next chance to eat. The moment I opened my eyes, the question was what would hit the spot for breakfast. I'd have a large breakfast, then get on with the day. Midday would arrive and I'd be lost in imagining what would hit the spot for lunch. A large lunch would follow, then the same cycle for dinner, and after that dessert. That pattern repeated itself for roughly 25 straight years.

It wasn't limited to the current day, either. Since I'm the one who cooks for the household, I'd catch myself picturing what to prepare for tomorrow's dinner, for a birthday, for a holiday, or simply because the weekend was coming and I'd have more room to make something delightful. Everything revolved around chasing the next thing — what I wanted, not what I needed or what I ought to have. If chocolate cake appealed to me, I'd bake one. I'd eat however much I felt like, and what I felt like was all of it, though I'd make a polite deal with myself and stop at half so that others could have some too.

These days, I simply care far less. Bacon is one example that springs to mind. I haven't cooked bacon since January, while in the past it was a once-a-week ritual, regular as clockwork.
 
Clavicular's Hammer said:

What a great post! It's wonderful that you're feeling this way.

I'm in exactly the same boat.
Click to expand...

kugelblitz said:

This isn't my 1st rodeo with GLP-1 medication, though it has been quite a while since the last time — I had to stop liraglutide because of what it cost. Yesterday I injected 1 mg of retatrutide, and now it's 5 pm and I've gone the entire day without eating. I'm sure nobody in this community needs me to explain how huge that is for me, but honestly I couldn't explain it even if I wanted to, since no words I possess come close to conveying the scale of it.

For my whole life I've been at minimum overweight, and for the most part obese. Being viewed by the world as someone with a normal weight is something I have never experienced. That said, it has never been what defines me, and by and large I haven't had too hard a time being accepted by society. The mockery and derision that others — women in particular — have faced because of their weight is definitely not something I've ever felt. Being a man, apart from a handful of bros who don't actually mean me any harm, polite society is much too... polite, well, to make it obvious.

Even so, I have spent more days than I could count asking myself why I am the way I am. What stops me from controlling myself? Others can do it; is there something so lacking in whatever makes a person a person that I'm forced to stuff my face, give in to every craving, and eat both compulsively and without thought? This always stood out to me so sharply because, by my nature, I have almost no other vices at all. Smoking is something I've never done, recreational drugs are not something I use, I drink very little alcohol, and I've never gambled any significant sum. Every other part of my life has shown me what self-control feels like — except this one.

Control is something I have attempted. I have tried SO HARD. More nights than I can count were spent fighting myself over whether to get out of bed and eat whatever looked edible. More hours than I can count went into the gym; I dropped a great deal of weight purely through willpower and meticulous calorie counting, and the instant life drained away my singular focus, I was right back where I started, putting the weight on again. Every approach has been tried.

And then, 1 mg of a white powder sent to me by a somewhat questionable Chinese lab and... blessed silence. It's finished. As if someone flipped a switch. It's vanished. Is this really the way other people live? They aren't driven by some biological quirk to devote at least part of every waking moment to thoughts of the next meal? They simply go about their lives, eating to meet their energy needs rather than in a futile effort to fill some endless pit inside them that dooms them either to cramming food into their mouths or to obsessively dwelling on the next time they'll cram food into their mouths.

Honestly, now that the proof of my own experience has hit me this hard, I don't know what to do with myself. Perhaps — just perhaps — I need to think about setting down all the guilt that has pressed on me even more heavily than all the excess weight I've carried my entire life. Could it be that this isn't entirely my fault?

I hope you'll pardon all this rambling. A genuine moment of catharsis is happening to me right now, and the only chance I have of reaching anyone who might get it is you, my dear internet strangers.

If this moment I'm in right now is one you've had too, please say so. I'd like to hear it.

Thank you for putting up with me.
Click to expand...
That was me. Once ozempic started working, I broke down in tears! At last I understood that food wasn't the center of my existence. I stopped burying my emotions under eating. Being free of that has kept me alive! These days I'm on tirzepitide. I'll stay on it for as long as I live.
 
What you wrote is beautiful. Everything comes through so clearly and exactly. You have a way of making it seem like writing takes no effort at all.

I appreciate how well you put the fixation and the quiet into words. You are not by yourself in this, and you reminded me that I am not either.
 
bay_area_schizo said:

There was a point for me too when it hit: oh, so this is what it's like when food isn't constantly on your mind... and right after that came some resentment about how hard it had been to actually get the medication.

For years I was on Kaiser through my job, and they refused to even talk about glp-1 meds with me. I left them, switched to a different plan, and the new doctor just said sure, I'll write you a script for that.

The first 4 wks of zep cost 1500 US, so I sent that shit back and started hunting around. Then I found this awesome forum and I'm so happy 😊
Click to expand...
After learning what things actually cost at their "real" price.... there's no returning to how you saw it before.. When I talk to people I'm close with, friends and relatives, I say.. "The amount you're handing over is WAY more than it needs to be.... " and then I give a little smile.... 😅😇

Take care!
 
Wow.. My “noises” are insane. Like I’m eating one meal and planning the next two. I can’t wait to order my first round of Tirz after the holiday is over. It would be kind of nice to schedule eating instead of almost scheduling everything around eating..
 
There have been a ton of replies to this thread, and I've at last carved out a moment to answer a few more.

Many other posts have gotten a like from me; I'm going through every one, so don't stop posting!!!

headward said:

Yeah, a lot of folks—maybe even most—still get nervous about injecting anything, or they've decided it's somehow wrong. Their answer is always 'just do it the natural way.' My response to that: 'Fine, if you're so into nature, move to a farm or the jungle—no power, no plumbing.'

Having these amazing APIs within reach is a huge privilege. Why pass that up? With fast food joints on every block in the modern world, keeping any kind of long-term food discipline is incredibly tough. These APIs/GLPs are a modern answer to a modern problem. They're a textbook case of better living through science. There's zero shame in using them—even if it's only to maintain.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's a solid observation I hadn't really considered before. These days, the finest psychologists and salespeople aim their efforts at us to trigger impulsive actions. I've got long-winded, meandering opinions about the advertising business—how it manufactures an emotional hole and then offers consumption (food and beyond) to plug it—but I'll save everyone from having to slog through that.

spanky2026 said:

On my 1st day of Tirz, a thought kept running through my head: "Is this really what it's like for regular folks when it comes to eating?" It completely blew my mind. And honestly, it frustrates me quite a bit, thinking back on all those years of comments from people about my weight that made it obvious they had zero idea that my brain and metabolism simply did not work the way theirs do. Their easygoing way with food was something they had lived, but it was never something I had. That is, until Tirz fixed it. These really are miracle drugs.
Click to expand...

Right, all those wasted moments spent either judging ourselves or sensing judgment from others, spoken or not, and it seems as though this medication has cut out the root of it with surgical precision. Where that source of shame used to be, there's nearly a vacuum now that it's gone, yet the accumulated layers of shame are still there, and I'm grappling with this (welcome) sense of emptiness.

Terminix8 said:

I get this completely. For the whole time I've been with my partner, she'll be partway through a meal, set her fork down, and announce she's done (regular portions, not massive restaurant servings), and I've always been amazed at how effortlessly she does it. When I ask, she says her stomach tells her she's full and she pays attention to it. Meanwhile, for as long as I can remember, my stomach has never signaled fullness until I'd eaten myself sick.

I used to plan out my next meals in my head....my connection to food was awful. The first time a GLP took that weight off my mind, I was stunned. My thought matched yours exactly - this is how my partner moves through her day, eating to live rather than living to eat, the way one of my parents always hammered into me.
Click to expand...

I'm not sure I've ever managed to do that of my own accord. My parents hammered into me that the plate must be cleaned, and that lesson stuck.

anhydrous said:

Judging by your username and where you're located, I'm guessing English isn't your native tongue. Was this written directly in English, or did you translate it from the language you grew up with? Whichever it was, it's a lovely piece of writing, and it captures something nearly everyone in this community has lived through but often can't put into words.

For me, food noise fits into the category of a seeking behavior. My old relationship with food resembled the way someone thinks about sex or a drug — a pleasure to chase after. Before I started injecting an incretin mimetic, an enormous share of my time went toward thinking about food, fantasizing about it, browsing recipes, and counting down to the next chance to eat. The moment I opened my eyes, the question was what would hit the spot for breakfast. I'd have a large breakfast, then get on with the day. Midday would arrive and I'd be lost in imagining what would hit the spot for lunch. A large lunch would follow, then the same cycle for dinner, and after that dessert. That pattern repeated itself for roughly 25 straight years.

It wasn't limited to the current day, either. Since I'm the one who cooks for the household, I'd catch myself picturing what to prepare for tomorrow's dinner, for a birthday, for a holiday, or simply because the weekend was coming and I'd have more room to make something delightful. Everything revolved around chasing the next thing — what I wanted, not what I needed or what I ought to have. If chocolate cake appealed to me, I'd bake one. I'd eat however much I felt like, and what I felt like was all of it, though I'd make a polite deal with myself and stop at half so that others could have some too.

These days, I simply care far less. Bacon is one example that springs to mind. I haven't cooked bacon since January, while in the past it was a once-a-week ritual, regular as clockwork.
Click to expand...

I appreciate that. Two languages were spoken around me growing up, though English came to me a bit later, so I'd say it isn't native. For close to 20 years now, English has been my main language. Writing it in English felt right since translating would've been even harder.

One of my personal faults is that I harbor certain pretensions about being a fiction writer, so I guess the work I've sunk into honing my writing hasn't gone completely to waste.

HereKittyKitty said:

What you wrote is beautiful. Everything comes through so clearly and exactly. You have a way of making it seem like writing takes no effort at all.

I appreciate how well you put the fixation and the quiet into words. You are not by yourself in this, and you reminded me that I am not either.
Click to expand...

I believe this is our ultimate purpose here on Earth—forming connections. If my words resonated with you, that makes me truly happy.

BigDaddyJ said:

Wow.. My “noises” are insane. Like I’m eating one meal and planning the next two. I can’t wait to order my first round of Tirz after the holiday is over. It would be kind of nice to schedule eating instead of almost scheduling everything around eating..
Click to expand...

Alright, prepare yourself, because assuming you've never used GLP1s, I suspect you'll hit that very same moment I described in the OP. Once you've pinned, return to this thread and share what it's like. I'd really enjoy reading that.
 
kugelblitz said:

There have been a ton of replies to this thread, and I've at last carved out a moment to answer a few more.

Many other posts have gotten a like from me; I'm going through every one, so don't stop posting!!!

headward said:

Yeah, a lot of folks—maybe even most—still get nervous about injecting anything, or they've decided it's somehow wrong. Their answer is always 'just do it the natural way.' My response to that: 'Fine, if you're so into nature, move to a farm or the jungle—no power, no plumbing.'

Having these amazing APIs within reach is a huge privilege. Why pass that up? With fast food joints on every block in the modern world, keeping any kind of long-term food discipline is incredibly tough. These APIs/GLPs are a modern answer to a modern problem. They're a textbook case of better living through science. There's zero shame in using them—even if it's only to maintain.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's a solid observation I hadn't really considered before. These days, the finest psychologists and salespeople aim their efforts at us to trigger impulsive actions. I've got long-winded, meandering opinions about the advertising business—how it manufactures an emotional hole and then offers consumption (food and beyond) to plug it—but I'll save everyone from having to slog through that.

spanky2026 said:

On my 1st day of Tirz, a thought kept running through my head: "Is this really what it's like for regular folks when it comes to eating?" It completely blew my mind. And honestly, it frustrates me quite a bit, thinking back on all those years of comments from people about my weight that made it obvious they had zero idea that my brain and metabolism simply did not work the way theirs do. Their easygoing way with food was something they had lived, but it was never something I had. That is, until Tirz fixed it. These really are miracle drugs.
Click to expand...

Right, all those wasted moments spent either judging ourselves or sensing judgment from others, spoken or not, and it seems as though this medication has cut out the root of it with surgical precision. Where that source of shame used to be, there's nearly a vacuum now that it's gone, yet the accumulated layers of shame are still there, and I'm grappling with this (welcome) sense of emptiness.

Terminix8 said:

I get this completely. For the whole time I've been with my partner, she'll be partway through a meal, set her fork down, and announce she's done (regular portions, not massive restaurant servings), and I've always been amazed at how effortlessly she does it. When I ask, she says her stomach tells her she's full and she pays attention to it. Meanwhile, for as long as I can remember, my stomach has never signaled fullness until I'd eaten myself sick.

I used to plan out my next meals in my head....my connection to food was awful. The first time a GLP took that weight off my mind, I was stunned. My thought matched yours exactly - this is how my partner moves through her day, eating to live rather than living to eat, the way one of my parents always hammered into me.
Click to expand...

I'm not sure I've ever managed to do that of my own accord. My parents hammered into me that the plate must be cleaned, and that lesson stuck.

anhydrous said:

Judging by your username and where you're located, I'm guessing English isn't your native tongue. Was this written directly in English, or did you translate it from the language you grew up with? Whichever it was, it's a lovely piece of writing, and it captures something nearly everyone in this community has lived through but often can't put into words.

For me, food noise fits into the category of a seeking behavior. My old relationship with food resembled the way someone thinks about sex or a drug — a pleasure to chase after. Before I started injecting an incretin mimetic, an enormous share of my time went toward thinking about food, fantasizing about it, browsing recipes, and counting down to the next chance to eat. The moment I opened my eyes, the question was what would hit the spot for breakfast. I'd have a large breakfast, then get on with the day. Midday would arrive and I'd be lost in imagining what would hit the spot for lunch. A large lunch would follow, then the same cycle for dinner, and after that dessert. That pattern repeated itself for roughly 25 straight years.

It wasn't limited to the current day, either. Since I'm the one who cooks for the household, I'd catch myself picturing what to prepare for tomorrow's dinner, for a birthday, for a holiday, or simply because the weekend was coming and I'd have more room to make something delightful. Everything revolved around chasing the next thing — what I wanted, not what I needed or what I ought to have. If chocolate cake appealed to me, I'd bake one. I'd eat however much I felt like, and what I felt like was all of it, though I'd make a polite deal with myself and stop at half so that others could have some too.

These days, I simply care far less. Bacon is one example that springs to mind. I haven't cooked bacon since January, while in the past it was a once-a-week ritual, regular as clockwork.
Click to expand...

I appreciate that. Two languages were spoken around me growing up, though English came to me a bit later, so I'd say it isn't native. For close to 20 years now, English has been my main language. Writing it in English felt right since translating would've been even harder.

One of my personal faults is that I harbor certain pretensions about being a fiction writer, so I guess the work I've sunk into honing my writing hasn't gone completely to waste.

HereKittyKitty said:

What you wrote is beautiful. Everything comes through so clearly and exactly. You have a way of making it seem like writing takes no effort at all.

I appreciate how well you put the fixation and the quiet into words. You are not by yourself in this, and you reminded me that I am not either.
Click to expand...

I believe this is our ultimate purpose here on Earth—forming connections. If my words resonated with you, that makes me truly happy.

BigDaddyJ said:

Wow.. My “noises” are insane. Like I’m eating one meal and planning the next two. I can’t wait to order my first round of Tirz after the holiday is over. It would be kind of nice to schedule eating instead of almost scheduling everything around eating..
Click to expand...

Alright, prepare yourself, because assuming you've never used GLP1s, I suspect you'll hit that very same moment I described in the OP. Once you've pinned, return to this thread and share what it's like. I'd really enjoy reading that.
Click to expand...
Alright, my first order is going out once the holidays are over. I'm going to try Tirz plus mots-c and just watch what unfolds.. if it turns out anything like what you went through, then having roughly 70% of my mental bandwidth freed up is going to feel like quite a ride…
 
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