How do you feel about others commenting on your weight loss?

Since I run into my friends and neighbors all the time, the change isn't obvious to them. As for everyone else I know, I haven't crossed paths with them since January, which was before I got started. So far, I'm down 25lbs.
 
randompersonrandom said:

Another angle worth thinking about, in case it helps--some folks are reacting to my body, and that's what's driving their reaction. For me that's okay, and I realize it would not be okay for plenty of others, which is also okay.

Still, my sense is that when most people react, what they're really reacting to is my amazing luck rather than my body as such. The reason is that the majority of us carry extra weight, nearly everyone is fighting not to, only a handful of us manage it, and watching me move through life doing it without suffering or extreme effort makes people react because [[Q1]]

That shift makes me more willing to stay patient while they ask their questions, since their reactions are really about them, not about me. If I had actually come across a wishing well and I was sure it was reliable and safe, naturally I would share with people I care about where I found it and what I tossed in to make my wish come true.
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That's a thoughtful way to put it, and you're right. A great many people have their own battles with weight, and often we're simply looking for something to connect over, or offering the kind of praise we'd hope to get ourselves. Going forward, I'll do my best to adopt that mindset 😊
 
BNLFL said:

Since I run into my friends and neighbors all the time, the change isn't obvious to them. As for everyone else I know, I haven't crossed paths with them since January, which was before I got started. So far, I'm down 25lbs.
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Dropping 25lbs since January is amazing! Honestly, that kind of change is pretty tough to miss. I imagine you're feeling fantastic. Maybe some folks have picked up on it but simply chose not to say anything to you.
 
2dogs2cats said:

BNLFL said:

Since I run into my friends and neighbors all the time, the change isn't obvious to them. As for everyone else I know, I haven't crossed paths with them since January, which was before I got started. So far, I'm down 25lbs.
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Dropping 25lbs since January is amazing! Honestly, that kind of change is pretty tough to miss. I imagine you're feeling fantastic. Maybe some folks have picked up on it but simply chose not to say anything to you.
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Nope, they'd make a joke and give me a hard time. I run into them at least 1 time a week.
 
Honest praise makes me happy. Both giving and getting it brings me joy. Those close to me can see that my health has improved overall and that the weight isn't coming off due to illness.

If it were up to me, I'd likely pick "you look great" instead of "have you lost weight"—though that's simply my preference.

And I'm perfectly happy to give my Chinese mystery powder all the credit. For anyone out there fighting with weight, just like I still am, I want them to realize that hope exists🙂
 
People are wired that way—I'm not in a position to dictate your feelings any more than you can dictate mine. Flip it: use those moments to assist others who are dealing with diabetes management or weight loss. I dropped 400lbs and I work somewhere with more than 500 people, so I stood out. I've experienced every bit of it!!!! If it drags you down, redirect that energy into something constructive and support someone else. This isn't about politics—it's about being in a healthier place.
 
Having gone through cycles of losing and regaining weight throughout my life—like a yo-yo with a meth habit—I really don't appreciate it when people I know casually or colleagues bring up my weight loss. It serves as a reminder that I am or was overweight, and I worry they'll jinx it.

So recently, when one of my several bosses (very Office Space vibes) came back from Asia after 6 weeks and said, "Hey you're looking great you've lost a lot of weight," it kind of got under my skin. I tend to be snarky, sarcastic, and sardonic by nature, and I don't handle public compliments well. My reply was, "Yeah, cancer sucks. Can we move our 1:1 meeting to 1pm today?" and then I walked off. That nearly landed me in a meeting with HR. Fortunately, I've worked with this guy for 10 years and bailed him out a few times, so we hashed it out and things appear fine now.
 
Mc_ppka_tp said:

Having gone through cycles of losing and regaining weight throughout my life—like a yo-yo with a meth habit—I really don't appreciate it when people I know casually or colleagues bring up my weight loss. It serves as a reminder that I am or was overweight, and I worry they'll jinx it.

So recently, when one of my several bosses (very Office Space vibes) came back from Asia after 6 weeks and said, "Hey you're looking great you've lost a lot of weight," it kind of got under my skin. I tend to be snarky, sarcastic, and sardonic by nature, and I don't handle public compliments well. My reply was, "Yeah, cancer sucks. Can we move our 1:1 meeting to 1pm today?" and then I walked off. That nearly landed me in a meeting with HR. Fortunately, I've worked with this guy for 10 years and bailed him out a few times, so we hashed it out and things appear fine now.
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I admire your approach! It's good that everything turned out well, and with any luck your boss picked up a thing or two from that incident. You shouldn't tempt fate with people! 😆
 
byefatlicia said:

Honest praise makes me happy. Both giving and getting it brings me joy. Those close to me can see that my health has improved overall and that the weight isn't coming off due to illness.

If it were up to me, I'd likely pick "you look great" instead of "have you lost weight"—though that's simply my preference.

And I'm perfectly happy to give my Chinese mystery powder all the credit. For anyone out there fighting with weight, just like I still am, I want them to realize that hope exists🙂
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"You look great" is something I'm happy to hear! I'll happily share my tretinoin and sunscreen routine, hand over my hair stylist's details, and even say where I get Botox lol. My weight-related anxiety, though, runs really deep, and I figure it'll be some time before I move past it — once I can believe I won't simply put all the weight back on.
 
2dogs2cats said:

byefatlicia said:

Honest praise makes me happy. Both giving and getting it brings me joy. Those close to me can see that my health has improved overall and that the weight isn't coming off due to illness.

If it were up to me, I'd likely pick "you look great" instead of "have you lost weight"—though that's simply my preference.

And I'm perfectly happy to give my Chinese mystery powder all the credit. For anyone out there fighting with weight, just like I still am, I want them to realize that hope exists🙂
Click to expand...
"You look great" is something I'm happy to hear! I'll happily share my tretinoin and sunscreen routine, hand over my hair stylist's details, and even say where I get Botox lol. My weight-related anxiety, though, runs really deep, and I figure it'll be some time before I move past it — once I can believe I won't simply put all the weight back on.
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There's no need for us to ever return🙂
 
To be honest, it caught me off guard that hardly anyone said anything. I dropped 40lbs, going from a BMI of 40.0 to 33.0. Just a few people brought it up at all. That's okay with me.

The whole story is known by my family. My close friends are aware too. After I walked one friend through what it takes to get these 'tides, his reaction was "You really are the most interesting man in the world!" That brightened my day quite a bit.
 
2dogs2cats said:

randompersonrandom said:

Another angle worth thinking about, in case it helps--some folks are reacting to my body, and that's what's driving their reaction. For me that's okay, and I realize it would not be okay for plenty of others, which is also okay.

Still, my sense is that when most people react, what they're really reacting to is my amazing luck rather than my body as such. The reason is that the majority of us carry extra weight, nearly everyone is fighting not to, only a handful of us manage it, and watching me move through life doing it without suffering or extreme effort makes people react because [[Q1]]

That shift makes me more willing to stay patient while they ask their questions, since their reactions are really about them, not about me. If I had actually come across a wishing well and I was sure it was reliable and safe, naturally I would share with people I care about where I found it and what I tossed in to make my wish come true.
Click to expand...
That's a thoughtful way to put it, and you're right. A great many people have their own battles with weight, and often we're simply looking for something to connect over, or offering the kind of praise we'd hope to get ourselves. Going forward, I'll do my best to adopt that mindset 😊
Click to expand...

If that's what you're after, fine—but it isn't mandatory. Everyone's situation differs so much, and whatever suits me might be completely wrong for you. I'm not even bothered when people ignore the whole "don't just go around touching someone" thing and rest a hand on my arm, shoulder, or waist. Lately my body feels less like something I AM and more like a crop I raised in the garden or a project I built in the workshop, so it lands the same way as if someone grabbed an eggplant I grew or laid a hand on a cutting board I made.

Try that with my closest friend, who's also shedding weight, and you'll likely come away with a stump. Neither of us is right or wrong—we're simply very different, and that's allowed.
 
jungletech said:

Yeah, I usually see it as impolite when someone brings up another person's weight. There's no way to know the real reason behind the change—it could be a medical condition or an eating disorder. And if the weight comes back later, where does that leave things?
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You're absolutely correct — although many of us enjoy having our achievements noticed, there are situations where it can feel unwelcome too. A guy I know came up to me at my job, genuinely concerned, and asked whether I was ill. He'd battled cancer himself, so when he saw I'd dropped weight he leapt to the wrong assumption and got worried.
 
Ran into a woman I hadn’t crossed paths with in 12 months, and she too wanted to know whether I was unwell. Over that stretch I may have dropped 25 pounds, though my weight has been coming down gradually across the past 3 years. I’m 5’6, female, and 130 pounds, so in my view I don’t come across as sickly.
 
Onlyme said:

Ran into a woman I hadn’t crossed paths with in 12 months, and she too wanted to know whether I was unwell. Over that stretch I may have dropped 25 pounds, though my weight has been coming down gradually across the past 3 years. I’m 5’6, female, and 130 pounds, so in my view I don’t come across as sickly.
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Back when I was younger, I spent years eating far too little on a regular basis, and hearing praise only reinforced the false belief that staying underweight mattered a great deal.
 
randompersonrandom said:

I've been through something a bit odd. On social media, I'm quite open about my life. Drama, personal struggles, and trauma stay out of it, but hobbies, amusing or intriguing sights, and anything else I think readers would enjoy or get excited about are fair game. Also, I've worked for ten years at a place where 25,000 people are employed alongside me, and my role means LOTS of people end up knowing who I am. Everyone in my offline life is allowed to add me on social media, and far more of them read what I post than I'd ever have guessed—though I suppose that's because I do plenty of enjoyable things and always explain how I began doing them, and I push the idea hard that being amazing or talented isn't a requirement for doing fun things; you simply start doing them, and maybe you'll become good at them.

Once I started saying openly, "I'm on magic skinny drugs, and they are working, and I am happy, hooray!", a large share of my 200-plus office and a smaller yet outspoken slice of my 25k workplace came to know that "randompersonrandom is on glp'1's and is much, much smaller than she used to be!" is common knowledge. So when I walk around the office or attend meetings with other groups, plenty of exchanges go like this: "LOOK HOW SKINNY YOU ARE" , and I answer "YES, HOORAY FOR GLP1's, GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR DRUGS". If my little essays on "I am on magic skinny shots and here's how it's going" haven't reached you, then you're likely catching part of a conversation about it in an open-office layout, which makes it something everyone feels free to talk about. Naturally, MANY questions follow, and naturally, I respond to them.

I completely accept that I brought this on myself by deciding to be so open about my business, and I don't really regret it. What surprises me is how many people I care about, after watching my success, talking with me, and asking questions, went out and got their own magic skinny shots and are now much happier. Still, I'll feel somewhat relieved and content once I've been at my destination long enough that my weight loss becomes old news and people simply regard this as what I look like.
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Yet the contrast is huge when you spend time with people who only know the thinner you—no history as "Mcfatty"—it's completely chill, and honestly, I adore that.
 
I’ve dropped 20% of my body weight. Honestly, I love hearing people’s reactions: “Wow, you look like a teenager!” “You’re a tiny biscuit!” Plenty of admiring looks and grins come my way! My Zumba buddies match my excitement! Thank you Tirz!
 
conzopiriani said:

randompersonrandom said:

I've been through something a bit odd. On social media, I'm quite open about my life. Drama, personal struggles, and trauma stay out of it, but hobbies, amusing or intriguing sights, and anything else I think readers would enjoy or get excited about are fair game. Also, I've worked for ten years at a place where 25,000 people are employed alongside me, and my role means LOTS of people end up knowing who I am. Everyone in my offline life is allowed to add me on social media, and far more of them read what I post than I'd ever have guessed—though I suppose that's because I do plenty of enjoyable things and always explain how I began doing them, and I push the idea hard that being amazing or talented isn't a requirement for doing fun things; you simply start doing them, and maybe you'll become good at them.

Once I started saying openly, "I'm on magic skinny drugs, and they are working, and I am happy, hooray!", a large share of my 200-plus office and a smaller yet outspoken slice of my 25k workplace came to know that "randompersonrandom is on glp'1's and is much, much smaller than she used to be!" is common knowledge. So when I walk around the office or attend meetings with other groups, plenty of exchanges go like this: "LOOK HOW SKINNY YOU ARE" , and I answer "YES, HOORAY FOR GLP1's, GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR DRUGS". If my little essays on "I am on magic skinny shots and here's how it's going" haven't reached you, then you're likely catching part of a conversation about it in an open-office layout, which makes it something everyone feels free to talk about. Naturally, MANY questions follow, and naturally, I respond to them.

I completely accept that I brought this on myself by deciding to be so open about my business, and I don't really regret it. What surprises me is how many people I care about, after watching my success, talking with me, and asking questions, went out and got their own magic skinny shots and are now much happier. Still, I'll feel somewhat relieved and content once I've been at my destination long enough that my weight loss becomes old news and people simply regard this as what I look like.
Click to expand...
Yet the contrast is huge when you spend time with people who only know the thinner you—no history as "Mcfatty"—it's completely chill, and honestly, I adore that.
Click to expand...

This actually played out at work! We brought on a new teammate, and since I've been around from the very beginning of our team, I've ended up as a kind of informal Team Historian — whenever something comes up, I quietly fill her in on the background so she gets why everyone's reacting the way they are and isn't shut out of the running jokes. Only I totally blanked on adding "Oh, and by the way, I used to weigh 186 pounds," so she was completely lost, because the one time she'd actually seen it come up, it was just people I love shouting "OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO HOT!" at me, me shouting "LOOK AT ME I'M SO HOT" right back, the two of us making a joyful racket, and then moving on to whatever they'd originally wanted to talk about.

The other day she finally asked, sort of desperately, "Did you used to look very different than how you look now?" That's when it hit me she had no idea, so I filled her in. Her response: "Ok first off, many congratulations, I'm so happy for you. Second, thank god, I'm on Tirzepatide and nobody knows and I have questions and no one to ask...."
 
2dogs2cats said:

Is there anyone else who genuinely dislikes hearing other people talk about their weight loss? Even remarks like "you look great...you've lost weight" make me want to close off and stop the conversation. I don't know why I react this way, or whether others experience the same thing.

I suppose I'd prefer people to think I seem healthier or thinner, without actually saying it. Could it come from years of losing weight and then always putting it back on?
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Compliments have always been awkward for me—they make me squirm, and that goes double for anything about dropping pounds. There was a time when it felt like people were sizing me up and deciding I finally passed muster. These days, with more years behind me, I've settled into a "I don't give a rat's hairy behind" outlook lol. These days it's simpler to just take the kind words at face value, assume the person means well, and not dwell on it.
 
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