How do you feel about others commenting on your weight loss?

2dogs2cats

2dogs2cats

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Is there anyone else who genuinely dislikes hearing other people talk about their weight loss? Even remarks like "you look great...you've lost weight" make me want to close off and stop the conversation. I don't know why I react this way, or whether others experience the same thing.

I suppose I'd prefer people to think I seem healthier or thinner, without actually saying it. Could it come from years of losing weight and then always putting it back on?
 
2dogs2cats said:

Is there anyone else who genuinely dislikes hearing other people talk about their weight loss? Even remarks like "you look great...you've lost weight" make me want to close off and stop the conversation. I don't know why I react this way, or whether others experience the same thing.

I suppose I'd prefer people to think I seem healthier or thinner, without actually saying it. Could it come from years of losing weight and then always putting it back on?
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Quiet down, we don't want to tempt fate!!! 😁
 
Yeah, I usually see it as impolite when someone brings up another person's weight. There's no way to know the real reason behind the change—it could be a medical condition or an eating disorder. And if the weight comes back later, where does that leave things?
 
jungletech said:

Yeah, I usually see it as impolite when someone brings up another person's weight. There's no way to know the real reason behind the change—it could be a medical condition or an eating disorder. And if the weight comes back later, where does that leave things?
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I usually experience the same thing. Whenever I've put in serious effort to drop pounds before, I end up worrying nonstop that I'll put it back on, and I'm aware that others are watching since they said something when the weight came off. Plus, as you brought up, I've dropped weight because of being sick too. Nobody wants to recall that they couldn't keep anything down for weeks.
 
GLP1Pharmacist said:

I take it as a compliment. Anyone who'd bring it up to me would be someone who cares that I was living a healthier life.
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I believe that's almost certainly the intention behind what most people say. They're definitely offering praise, not trying to make you feel self-conscious. Which is exactly why it feels strange to be uneasy about those compliments.
 
In 1 year I dropped 60lbs. That works out to 5lbs. monthly, which is quite slow. So nothing is expected by me. Still, I get it too. Chopping off 60lbs. is about as personal as it gets. If anything it's like wearing gold-plated underwear. Nobody should know but you. 😏
 
I've been through something a bit odd. On social media, I'm quite open about my life. Drama, personal struggles, and trauma stay out of it, but hobbies, amusing or intriguing sights, and anything else I think readers would enjoy or get excited about are fair game. Also, I've worked for ten years at a place where 25,000 people are employed alongside me, and my role means LOTS of people end up knowing who I am. Everyone in my offline life is allowed to add me on social media, and far more of them read what I post than I'd ever have guessed—though I suppose that's because I do plenty of enjoyable things and always explain how I began doing them, and I push the idea hard that being amazing or talented isn't a requirement for doing fun things; you simply start doing them, and maybe you'll become good at them.

Once I started saying openly, "I'm on magic skinny drugs, and they are working, and I am happy, hooray!", a large share of my 200-plus office and a smaller yet outspoken slice of my 25k workplace came to know that "randompersonrandom is on glp'1's and is much, much smaller than she used to be!" is common knowledge. So when I walk around the office or attend meetings with other groups, plenty of exchanges go like this: "LOOK HOW SKINNY YOU ARE" , and I answer "YES, HOORAY FOR GLP1's, GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR DRUGS". If my little essays on "I am on magic skinny shots and here's how it's going" haven't reached you, then you're likely catching part of a conversation about it in an open-office layout, which makes it something everyone feels free to talk about. Naturally, MANY questions follow, and naturally, I respond to them.

I completely accept that I brought this on myself by deciding to be so open about my business, and I don't really regret it. What surprises me is how many people I care about, after watching my success, talking with me, and asking questions, went out and got their own magic skinny shots and are now much happier. Still, I'll feel somewhat relieved and content once I've been at my destination long enough that my weight loss becomes old news and people simply regard this as what I look like.
 
Sasquatch said:

In 1 year I dropped 60lbs. That works out to 5lbs. monthly, which is quite slow. So nothing is expected by me. Still, I get it too. Chopping off 60lbs. is about as personal as it gets. If anything it's like wearing gold-plated underwear. Nobody should know but you. 😏
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Losing 60lbs over 12 months is incredible! I imagine you're feeling fantastic, whether or not there's any gold-plated underwear involved 😂. More of my patients have started making comments to me recently — perhaps they find it easier to get that personal since I'm already familiar with so much about their bodies, and it feels natural to them.
 
randompersonrandom said:

I've been through something a bit odd. On social media, I'm quite open about my life. Drama, personal struggles, and trauma stay out of it, but hobbies, amusing or intriguing sights, and anything else I think readers would enjoy or get excited about are fair game. Also, I've worked for ten years at a place where 25,000 people are employed alongside me, and my role means LOTS of people end up knowing who I am. Everyone in my offline life is allowed to add me on social media, and far more of them read what I post than I'd ever have guessed—though I suppose that's because I do plenty of enjoyable things and always explain how I began doing them, and I push the idea hard that being amazing or talented isn't a requirement for doing fun things; you simply start doing them, and maybe you'll become good at them.

Once I started saying openly, "I'm on magic skinny drugs, and they are working, and I am happy, hooray!", a large share of my 200-plus office and a smaller yet outspoken slice of my 25k workplace came to know that "randompersonrandom is on glp'1's and is much, much smaller than she used to be!" is common knowledge. So when I walk around the office or attend meetings with other groups, plenty of exchanges go like this: "LOOK HOW SKINNY YOU ARE" , and I answer "YES, HOORAY FOR GLP1's, GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR DRUGS". If my little essays on "I am on magic skinny shots and here's how it's going" haven't reached you, then you're likely catching part of a conversation about it in an open-office layout, which makes it something everyone feels free to talk about. Naturally, MANY questions follow, and naturally, I respond to them.

I completely accept that I brought this on myself by deciding to be so open about my business, and I don't really regret it. What surprises me is how many people I care about, after watching my success, talking with me, and asking questions, went out and got their own magic skinny shots and are now much happier. Still, I'll feel somewhat relieved and content once I've been at my destination long enough that my weight loss becomes old news and people simply regard this as what I look like.
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This really resonates with me! I envy how self-assured and transparent you can be when it comes to your own life. Living that way sounds incredibly liberating. There's no doubt you're making a difference for many people, and having that kind of uplifting impact on those around you is wonderful. Still, I get your point about folks adjusting to the new version of you rather than the BIG CHANGE.
 
2dogs2cats said:

randompersonrandom said:

I've been through something a bit odd. On social media, I'm quite open about my life. Drama, personal struggles, and trauma stay out of it, but hobbies, amusing or intriguing sights, and anything else I think readers would enjoy or get excited about are fair game. Also, I've worked for ten years at a place where 25,000 people are employed alongside me, and my role means LOTS of people end up knowing who I am. Everyone in my offline life is allowed to add me on social media, and far more of them read what I post than I'd ever have guessed—though I suppose that's because I do plenty of enjoyable things and always explain how I began doing them, and I push the idea hard that being amazing or talented isn't a requirement for doing fun things; you simply start doing them, and maybe you'll become good at them.

Once I started saying openly, "I'm on magic skinny drugs, and they are working, and I am happy, hooray!", a large share of my 200-plus office and a smaller yet outspoken slice of my 25k workplace came to know that "randompersonrandom is on glp'1's and is much, much smaller than she used to be!" is common knowledge. So when I walk around the office or attend meetings with other groups, plenty of exchanges go like this: "LOOK HOW SKINNY YOU ARE" , and I answer "YES, HOORAY FOR GLP1's, GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR DRUGS". If my little essays on "I am on magic skinny shots and here's how it's going" haven't reached you, then you're likely catching part of a conversation about it in an open-office layout, which makes it something everyone feels free to talk about. Naturally, MANY questions follow, and naturally, I respond to them.

I completely accept that I brought this on myself by deciding to be so open about my business, and I don't really regret it. What surprises me is how many people I care about, after watching my success, talking with me, and asking questions, went out and got their own magic skinny shots and are now much happier. Still, I'll feel somewhat relieved and content once I've been at my destination long enough that my weight loss becomes old news and people simply regard this as what I look like.
Click to expand...
This really resonates with me! I envy how self-assured and transparent you can be when it comes to your own life. Living that way sounds incredibly liberating. There's no doubt you're making a difference for many people, and having that kind of uplifting impact on those around you is wonderful. Still, I get your point about folks adjusting to the new version of you rather than the BIG CHANGE.
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Thanks. On balance it's served me well; this is how I've operated for decades, and there are costs and benefits. Compared with people who keep more to themselves, I give up some privacy in places where curious folks can take it in, yet strangers wind up feeling acquainted with me, friendships form without much friction, and most people start out assuming I'm trustworthy — which makes my work-life WAY simpler, provided I never, ever betray a confidence. The flip side is that I have to watch myself closely so the version of me I put out there isn't one the actual me couldn't match; if I come across online as nicer, more considerate, or more wonderful overall than I am in real life, people will be let down once they actually talk to me. 😀
 
Sasquatch said:

In 1 year I dropped 60lbs. That works out to 5lbs. monthly, which is quite slow. So nothing is expected by me. Still, I get it too. Chopping off 60lbs. is about as personal as it gets. If anything it's like wearing gold-plated underwear. Nobody should know but you. 😏
Click to expand...
Losing 60 pounds over a year is impressive. Truly, simply avoiding an 20-pound gain within a year already defies certain odds.
 
randompersonrandom said:

I've been through something a bit odd. On social media, I'm quite open about my life. Drama, personal struggles, and trauma stay out of it, but hobbies, amusing or intriguing sights, and anything else I think readers would enjoy or get excited about are fair game. Also, I've worked for ten years at a place where 25,000 people are employed alongside me, and my role means LOTS of people end up knowing who I am. Everyone in my offline life is allowed to add me on social media, and far more of them read what I post than I'd ever have guessed—though I suppose that's because I do plenty of enjoyable things and always explain how I began doing them, and I push the idea hard that being amazing or talented isn't a requirement for doing fun things; you simply start doing them, and maybe you'll become good at them.

Once I started saying openly, "I'm on magic skinny drugs, and they are working, and I am happy, hooray!", a large share of my 200-plus office and a smaller yet outspoken slice of my 25k workplace came to know that "randompersonrandom is on glp'1's and is much, much smaller than she used to be!" is common knowledge. So when I walk around the office or attend meetings with other groups, plenty of exchanges go like this: "LOOK HOW SKINNY YOU ARE" , and I answer "YES, HOORAY FOR GLP1's, GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR DRUGS". If my little essays on "I am on magic skinny shots and here's how it's going" haven't reached you, then you're likely catching part of a conversation about it in an open-office layout, which makes it something everyone feels free to talk about. Naturally, MANY questions follow, and naturally, I respond to them.

I completely accept that I brought this on myself by deciding to be so open about my business, and I don't really regret it. What surprises me is how many people I care about, after watching my success, talking with me, and asking questions, went out and got their own magic skinny shots and are now much happier. Still, I'll feel somewhat relieved and content once I've been at my destination long enough that my weight loss becomes old news and people simply regard this as what I look like.
Click to expand...
🤣🤣🤣 I absolutely love this!

Next time someone brings up my weight loss, I'm definitely pulling that out.
 
Love it..does that make me awful.. 😆

joking aside, i wore a t shirt in the office the other day for the first time since starting WL. THREE separate coworkers came up to tell me i look great. it lit something in me, thinking people might finally be noticing all the work i put in (well.. me plus research reta / tirz.. haha)

spent the whole day strutting around the place
 
2dogs2cats said:

Is there anyone else who genuinely dislikes hearing other people talk about their weight loss? Even remarks like "you look great...you've lost weight" make me want to close off and stop the conversation. I don't know why I react this way, or whether others experience the same thing.

I suppose I'd prefer people to think I seem healthier or thinner, without actually saying it. Could it come from years of losing weight and then always putting it back on?
Click to expand...
I'm right there with you. Any remark about my body, whether it's praise or criticism, is something I'd rather not hear at all — I end up taking every one of them the wrong way and it leaves me feeling off. This time I've settled on a response along these lines: “I realize you mean well, but comments about my body or weight always land negatively for me. So if you want to say something nice, please pick a different angle, or simply say nothing if there's nothing else you can compliment. Thanks.”
 
When someone says something like "oh wow, you look SO GOOD," it bothers me because it carries the suggestion that I used to look "so bad." It also feels like my appearance is being treated as more significant than who I am. I'm not sure how to explain it, but it leaves me feeling sad. I do understand where they're coming from, though — I clearly look very different now. Still, it seems to confirm that all those thoughts I used to have about people judging me when I was 80+ pounds heavier were correct, and that's a hard thing to sit with.

Usually, if someone brings up my weight loss, I just reply "yes" and move the conversation along. 😄 "Yes, I've lost weight - how have YOU been?"
 
cldfront said:

When someone says something like "oh wow, you look SO GOOD," it bothers me because it carries the suggestion that I used to look "so bad." It also feels like my appearance is being treated as more significant than who I am. I'm not sure how to explain it, but it leaves me feeling sad. I do understand where they're coming from, though — I clearly look very different now. Still, it seems to confirm that all those thoughts I used to have about people judging me when I was 80+ pounds heavier were correct, and that's a hard thing to sit with.

Usually, if someone brings up my weight loss, I just reply "yes" and move the conversation along. 😄 "Yes, I've lost weight - how have YOU been?"
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Knowing that others share this reaction brings me so much comfort — it's as if you reached into my head and pulled out exactly what I've been thinking. Whenever it comes up, I rush to steer the conversation elsewhere... "Thanks, I found a great hairstylist who's giving me the best haircuts of my life"

professorpeppy said:

Love it..does that make me awful.. 😆

joking aside, i wore a t shirt in the office the other day for the first time since starting WL. THREE separate coworkers came up to tell me i look great. it lit something in me, thinking people might finally be noticing all the work i put in (well.. me plus research reta / tirz.. haha)

spent the whole day strutting around the place
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That's awesome! Positive reinforcement really is motivating. I'm so glad you're getting such great response for all your hard work 😊. I definitely think I'm in the minority here and most people are really appreciative about the compliments!
 
Bumblebe said:

2dogs2cats said:

Is there anyone else who genuinely dislikes hearing other people talk about their weight loss? Even remarks like "you look great...you've lost weight" make me want to close off and stop the conversation. I don't know why I react this way, or whether others experience the same thing.

I suppose I'd prefer people to think I seem healthier or thinner, without actually saying it. Could it come from years of losing weight and then always putting it back on?
Click to expand...
I'm right there with you. Any remark about my body, whether it's praise or criticism, is something I'd rather not hear at all — I end up taking every one of them the wrong way and it leaves me feeling off. This time I've settled on a response along these lines: “I realize you mean well, but comments about my body or weight always land negatively for me. So if you want to say something nice, please pick a different angle, or simply say nothing if there's nothing else you can compliment. Thanks.”
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Same here — no matter which way it's phrased, my brain twists it into something negative. That said, I've been putting effort into managing my anxiety, so I have hope that this will become less difficult over time!
 
Another angle worth thinking about, in case it helps--some folks are reacting to my body, and that's what's driving their reaction. For me that's okay, and I realize it would not be okay for plenty of others, which is also okay.

Still, my sense is that when most people react, what they're really reacting to is my amazing luck rather than my body as such. The reason is that the majority of us carry extra weight, nearly everyone is fighting not to, only a handful of us manage it, and watching me move through life doing it without suffering or extreme effort makes people react because [[Q1]]

That shift makes me more willing to stay patient while they ask their questions, since their reactions are really about them, not about me. If I had actually come across a wishing well and I was sure it was reliable and safe, naturally I would share with people I care about where I found it and what I tossed in to make my wish come true.
 
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