Guilt over having found this resource

[Purpletree]

Hi, the title basically says it. Not long ago I found this place and figured out that tirz can be obtained for a small share of what a prescription would cost me, and that makes me feel really guilty, because my mom — whose life has been very difficult — is 56 now and morbidly obese, and I am certain this medication could save her life. Still, I hold back from bringing it up with her, for these reasons:

1. She flat out won't let a doctor examine her, won't step on a scale, and won't get bloodwork done (all of which I think I could persuade her to do before starting injections), and

2. She can't keep her mouth shut, and I already know she would go around telling everybody that I gave her the medication and so on and so forth, and then questions would start — if the rest of the family found out I wanted to help her by getting her grey stuff, they would come down on me hard for it, not out of any real concern for her, but because they would resent the help she receives, and

3. I worry the medication could set off other health problems for her, and then I would be the one to blame.

For context, she is 56, roughly 120kg (at least) and about 165cm.

Any advice is welcome!

 

[Skidude]

Purpletree said:

Hi, the title basically says it. Not long ago I found this place and figured out that tirz can be obtained for a small share of what a prescription would cost me, and that makes me feel really guilty, because my mom — whose life has been very difficult — is 56 now and morbidly obese, and I am certain this medication could save her life. Still, I hold back from bringing it up with her, for these reasons:

1. She flat out won't let a doctor examine her, won't step on a scale, and won't get bloodwork done (all of which I think I could persuade her to do before starting injections), and

2. She can't keep her mouth shut, and I already know she would go around telling everybody that I gave her the medication and so on and so forth, and then questions would start — if the rest of the family found out I wanted to help her by getting her grey stuff, they would come down on me hard for it, not out of any real concern for her, but because they would resent the help she receives, and

3. I worry the medication could set off other health problems for her, and then I would be the one to blame.

For context, she is 56, roughly 120kg (at least) and about 165cm.

Any advice is welcome!

Look into what else GLP1s can do — the advantages go well beyond shedding pounds.

After you've gathered solid information, you could show her reputable research about its effects.

Passing along medication is a risky path, yet passing along knowledge could be what keeps her alive.

From there, perhaps she begins with a prescribed version from a clinic, and you handle things gradually.

Have you personally taken GLP1s? Is there anyone you know who's experienced positive results?

Often, the most effective way to nudge someone toward trying it is letting them witness how much it helps.

Given what you've described, I'd certainly think twice before handing her gray as the very first move.

 

[CJsMom]

You don't owe anyone an explanation just because they ask. Your culture isn't something I know about, but one option is to tell them that discussing your mother's health makes you uneasy since it's private. After that, steer the conversation elsewhere.

 

[SeaGypsy]

I had a conversation with my mom where I explained my own routine. I shared the same research platforms I rely on and asked whether she'd want to look into it. She told me she was interested, so I encouraged her to do her own digging and decide for herself. After she looked into it, she chose on her own to give peptides a try. Now she's glad she went that route, and I'm glad I could point her toward the information and let her call the shots.

 

[Purpletree]

Skidude said:

Purpletree said:

Hi, the title basically says it. Not long ago I found this place and figured out that tirz can be obtained for a small share of what a prescription would cost me, and that makes me feel really guilty, because my mom — whose life has been very difficult — is 56 now and morbidly obese, and I am certain this medication could save her life. Still, I hold back from bringing it up with her, for these reasons:

1. She flat out won't let a doctor examine her, won't step on a scale, and won't get bloodwork done (all of which I think I could persuade her to do before starting injections), and

2. She can't keep her mouth shut, and I already know she would go around telling everybody that I gave her the medication and so on and so forth, and then questions would start — if the rest of the family found out I wanted to help her by getting her grey stuff, they would come down on me hard for it, not out of any real concern for her, but because they would resent the help she receives, and

3. I worry the medication could set off other health problems for her, and then I would be the one to blame.

For context, she is 56, roughly 120kg (at least) and about 165cm.

Any advice is welcome!

Look into what else GLP1s can do — the advantages go well beyond shedding pounds.

After you've gathered solid information, you could show her reputable research about its effects.

Passing along medication is a risky path, yet passing along knowledge could be what keeps her alive.

From there, perhaps she begins with a prescribed version from a clinic, and you handle things gradually.

Have you personally taken GLP1s? Is there anyone you know who's experienced positive results?

Often, the most effective way to nudge someone toward trying it is letting them witness how much it helps.

Given what you've described, I'd certainly think twice before handing her gray as the very first move.

I appreciate what you shared. Tomorrow marks my 4th injection, and I'm moving forward with it—though I've never picked up a prescription version. What I used came from a pharmacy that's compound-ish. Where I live, the prices are hella high, so once this vial runs out, my initial grey order ought to show up.

Labs were done, and I saw an endocrinologist who actually suggested I start the medication, citing ongoing food noise and unsuccessful calorie-counting efforts. The only catch is that my source isn't a traditional pharmacy. Beyond that, I'll stay in contact with my doctor, getting routine blood work and checkups. Also, I've dropped over 3kg so far haha.

 

[Purpletree]

CJsMom said:

You don't owe anyone an explanation just because they ask. Your culture isn't something I know about, but one option is to tell them that discussing your mother's health makes you uneasy since it's private. After that, steer the conversation elsewhere.

Sadly, the person who'd get interrogated isn't me — it's her. And she'd talk, since she'd feel cornered. As long as nothing goes wrong, nobody would press me about it. But if something did happen, things would change entirely — my sister especially, given how badly the two of us get along

 

[Purpletree]

SeaGypsy said:

I had a conversation with my mom where I explained my own routine. I shared the same research platforms I rely on and asked whether she'd want to look into it. She told me she was interested, so I encouraged her to do her own digging and decide for herself. After she looked into it, she chose on her own to give peptides a try. Now she's glad she went that route, and I'm glad I could point her toward the information and let her call the shots.

Thanks! Is your mother around the same age? When you first put her on the medication, was her weight in a similar range? And how is she doing now?

 

[juanmecha]

Purpletree said:

Hi, the title basically says it. Not long ago I found this place and figured out that tirz can be obtained for a small share of what a prescription would cost me, and that makes me feel really guilty, because my mom — whose life has been very difficult — is 56 now and morbidly obese, and I am certain this medication could save her life. Still, I hold back from bringing it up with her, for these reasons:

1. She flat out won't let a doctor examine her, won't step on a scale, and won't get bloodwork done (all of which I think I could persuade her to do before starting injections), and

2. She can't keep her mouth shut, and I already know she would go around telling everybody that I gave her the medication and so on and so forth, and then questions would start — if the rest of the family found out I wanted to help her by getting her grey stuff, they would come down on me hard for it, not out of any real concern for her, but because they would resent the help she receives, and

3. I worry the medication could set off other health problems for her, and then I would be the one to blame.

For context, she is 56, roughly 120kg (at least) and about 165cm.

Any advice is welcome!

That's a difficult situation. Even so, I get it. My own mom is the same way—she avoids doctor visits. She takes compounded tirzepatide. Getting her to try tirzepa was simpler than getting her to see a physician. The reason she won't go is that she fears hearing something is wrong with her. When I raised the topic, it turned out she was already curious. Social media did most of the work. She had been reading about it herself. I mentioned in passing that my wife was using it, and eventually she asked if we could get her some.

So, action items for you:

a) She might be fine with simply starting the medication, even if she won't go to the doctor.

b) Have you talked to her about it? What does she know?

c) Are you on tirzepa? Is there anyone in your social circle you can casually bring into a conversation to gauge where she's at?

d) Is compounded an option for you? Maybe you can ease her into compounded and then transition to grey?

e) There's nothing you can do about her blabbing and your family judging you. If you can convince your mom, the results will speak for themselves and you'll have the last laugh. So best to just ignore them.

 

[Skidude]

Purpletree said:

Skidude said:

Purpletree said:

Hi, the title basically says it. Not long ago I found this place and figured out that tirz can be obtained for a small share of what a prescription would cost me, and that makes me feel really guilty, because my mom — whose life has been very difficult — is 56 now and morbidly obese, and I am certain this medication could save her life. Still, I hold back from bringing it up with her, for these reasons:

1. She flat out won't let a doctor examine her, won't step on a scale, and won't get bloodwork done (all of which I think I could persuade her to do before starting injections), and

2. She can't keep her mouth shut, and I already know she would go around telling everybody that I gave her the medication and so on and so forth, and then questions would start — if the rest of the family found out I wanted to help her by getting her grey stuff, they would come down on me hard for it, not out of any real concern for her, but because they would resent the help she receives, and

3. I worry the medication could set off other health problems for her, and then I would be the one to blame.

For context, she is 56, roughly 120kg (at least) and about 165cm.

Any advice is welcome!

Look into what else GLP1s can do — the advantages go well beyond shedding pounds.

After you've gathered solid information, you could show her reputable research about its effects.

Passing along medication is a risky path, yet passing along knowledge could be what keeps her alive.

From there, perhaps she begins with a prescribed version from a clinic, and you handle things gradually.

Have you personally taken GLP1s? Is there anyone you know who's experienced positive results?

Often, the most effective way to nudge someone toward trying it is letting them witness how much it helps.

Given what you've described, I'd certainly think twice before handing her gray as the very first move.

I appreciate what you shared. Tomorrow marks my 4th injection, and I'm moving forward with it—though I've never picked up a prescription version. What I used came from a pharmacy that's compound-ish. Where I live, the prices are hella high, so once this vial runs out, my initial grey order ought to show up.

Labs were done, and I saw an endocrinologist who actually suggested I start the medication, citing ongoing food noise and unsuccessful calorie-counting efforts. The only catch is that my source isn't a traditional pharmacy. Beyond that, I'll stay in contact with my doctor, getting routine blood work and checkups. Also, I've dropped over 3kg so far haha.

While compound/telehealth does have rules, my approval came through with no labs needed, and from what I gather that happens often.

I think mine also screened for any past eating disorder issues..

Below are sample questions worth raising:

During a telehealth visit, a provider gauges whether tirzepatide (Mounjaro or Zepbound) is appropriate for you by way of a detailed medical intake form plus a live consultation. Topics covered include your height, weight, BMI, any thyroid cancer history, pancreatitis, allergies, medications you currently take, and previous attempts at weight loss. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

So that your metabolic and overall health picture is complete, the online provider will likely request these details while screening you virtually:

Key Health History & Screening Questions

• • Diabetes Status: Has a doctor confirmed you have Type 2 diabetes?
  • Weight Metrics: What are your current weight, height, and body mass index (BMI)?
  • Absolute Contraindications: Is there a personal or family history of Medullary Thyroid Carcinoma (MTC) or Multiple Endocrine Neoplasia syndrome type 2 (MEN 2)? [1]
  • Pancreas & Gallbladder: Have you ever dealt with pancreatitis (inflammation of the pancreas), gallbladder disease, or serious kidney/liver problems? [1, 2]
  • Gastrointestinal Health: Are you affected by severe gastrointestinal diseases, such as gastroparesis? [1]
  • Pregnancy & Nursing: Are you pregnant, planning to become pregnant, or currently breastfeeding?
  • Medications: Are you on any other weight-loss treatments, insulin, or oral diabetes medications? Do you take medications that are absorbed slowly in the stomach? [1, 2]
  • Allergies: Do you have any known allergies to tirzepatide or other GLP-1/GIP receptor agonists?

 

[SeaGypsy]

Purpletree said:

SeaGypsy said:

I had a conversation with my mom where I explained my own routine. I shared the same research platforms I rely on and asked whether she'd want to look into it. She told me she was interested, so I encouraged her to do her own digging and decide for herself. After she looked into it, she chose on her own to give peptides a try. Now she's glad she went that route, and I'm glad I could point her toward the information and let her call the shots.

Thanks! Is your mother around the same age? When you first put her on the medication, was her weight in a similar range? And how is she doing now?

My mother is in her 70s. She's not especially large; she takes a very low dose of Tirz for slight weight loss, but mainly for inflammation benefits and GLOW to support her overall health, particularly her joints. She's doing great—she's dropped a bit of weight, but the main thing is her joints feel much better and she's no longer in pain every day.

 

[Purpletree]

juanmecha said:

Purpletree said:

Hi, the title basically says it. Not long ago I found this place and figured out that tirz can be obtained for a small share of what a prescription would cost me, and that makes me feel really guilty, because my mom — whose life has been very difficult — is 56 now and morbidly obese, and I am certain this medication could save her life. Still, I hold back from bringing it up with her, for these reasons:

1. She flat out won't let a doctor examine her, won't step on a scale, and won't get bloodwork done (all of which I think I could persuade her to do before starting injections), and

2. She can't keep her mouth shut, and I already know she would go around telling everybody that I gave her the medication and so on and so forth, and then questions would start — if the rest of the family found out I wanted to help her by getting her grey stuff, they would come down on me hard for it, not out of any real concern for her, but because they would resent the help she receives, and

3. I worry the medication could set off other health problems for her, and then I would be the one to blame.

For context, she is 56, roughly 120kg (at least) and about 165cm.

Any advice is welcome!

That's a difficult situation. Even so, I get it. My own mom is the same way—she avoids doctor visits. She takes compounded tirzepatide. Getting her to try tirzepa was simpler than getting her to see a physician. The reason she won't go is that she fears hearing something is wrong with her. When I raised the topic, it turned out she was already curious. Social media did most of the work. She had been reading about it herself. I mentioned in passing that my wife was using it, and eventually she asked if we could get her some.

So, action items for you:

a) She might be fine with simply starting the medication, even if she won't go to the doctor.

b) Have you talked to her about it? What does she know?

c) Are you on tirzepa? Is there anyone in your social circle you can casually bring into a conversation to gauge where she's at?

d) Is compounded an option for you? Maybe you can ease her into compounded and then transition to grey?

e) There's nothing you can do about her blabbing and your family judging you. If you can convince your mom, the results will speak for themselves and you'll have the last laugh. So best to just ignore them.

My mom won't see a doctor for the same reason, lol. She worries they'll discover something is wrong with her. That comment drives me crazy!

I really don't think she's aware of any of this, but I'll ease into a conversation about it, since the TV news keeps going on and on about mounjaro pens (the prescription ones). Thanks!

 

[Foggy-Hollow]

Purpletree said:

Hi, the title basically says it. Not long ago I found this place and figured out that tirz can be obtained for a small share of what a prescription would cost me, and that makes me feel really guilty, because my mom — whose life has been very difficult — is 56 now and morbidly obese, and I am certain this medication could save her life. Still, I hold back from bringing it up with her, for these reasons:

1. She flat out won't let a doctor examine her, won't step on a scale, and won't get bloodwork done (all of which I think I could persuade her to do before starting injections), and

2. She can't keep her mouth shut, and I already know she would go around telling everybody that I gave her the medication and so on and so forth, and then questions would start — if the rest of the family found out I wanted to help her by getting her grey stuff, they would come down on me hard for it, not out of any real concern for her, but because they would resent the help she receives, and

3. I worry the medication could set off other health problems for her, and then I would be the one to blame.

For context, she is 56, roughly 120kg (at least) and about 165cm.

Any advice is welcome!

In my opinion, this has nothing to do with Glp-1. When someone can't hold a secret, the natural result is that others stop confiding in them. That's a boundary, and with someone close to you, holding that boundary is tough. My sister behaves the same way. If you don't want a secret spread around, you simply don't tell her.

Plus, the fact that they're left in the dark isn't on you; it comes from what they've done before. "You're hiding this from me" — well, yes, because of how you've acted previously.

You can't pour water into a bucket riddled with holes and expect it to remain there.

My sister and I started chatting about peptides, so I passed along a beginner-friendly source, and that was the end of it.

If your mom hit a problem with the GLP-1, would she visit prompt care? Or look for any assistance at all? It does come with side effects. Not everyone gets good results.

She has to see a doctor. Beginning a grey med won't fix the issue of not knowing how healthy or sick she is.

 

[Purpletree]

SeaGypsy said:

Purpletree said:

SeaGypsy said:

I had a conversation with my mom where I explained my own routine. I shared the same research platforms I rely on and asked whether she'd want to look into it. She told me she was interested, so I encouraged her to do her own digging and decide for herself. After she looked into it, she chose on her own to give peptides a try. Now she's glad she went that route, and I'm glad I could point her toward the information and let her call the shots.

Thanks! Is your mother around the same age? When you first put her on the medication, was her weight in a similar range? And how is she doing now?

My mother is in her 70s. She's not especially large; she takes a very low dose of Tirz for slight weight loss, but mainly for inflammation benefits and GLOW to support her overall health, particularly her joints. She's doing great—she's dropped a bit of weight, but the main thing is her joints feel much better and she's no longer in pain every day.

Absolutely, I get exactly what you mean! My mom deals with aches everywhere—shoulders, back, knees (which makes sense given how much weight she's carrying)….thanks!

 

[City Badger]

SeaGypsy said:

Purpletree said:

SeaGypsy said:

I had a conversation with my mom where I explained my own routine. I shared the same research platforms I rely on and asked whether she'd want to look into it. She told me she was interested, so I encouraged her to do her own digging and decide for herself. After she looked into it, she chose on her own to give peptides a try. Now she's glad she went that route, and I'm glad I could point her toward the information and let her call the shots.

Thanks! Is your mother around the same age? When you first put her on the medication, was her weight in a similar range? And how is she doing now?

My mother is in her 70s. She's not especially large; she takes a very low dose of Tirz for slight weight loss, but mainly for inflammation benefits and GLOW to support her overall health, particularly her joints. She's doing great—she's dropped a bit of weight, but the main thing is her joints feel much better and she's no longer in pain every day.

Is your mom getting assistance from you when it comes to dosing and reconstitution? Mine is 76, and I doubt she'd be able to manage all of that on her own. She's not nearby, though, so I've avoided bringing any of this up with her—I don't want her to get tempted and end up making herself sick.

 

[SeaGypsy]

City Badger said:

SeaGypsy said:

Purpletree said:

SeaGypsy said:

I had a conversation with my mom where I explained my own routine. I shared the same research platforms I rely on and asked whether she'd want to look into it. She told me she was interested, so I encouraged her to do her own digging and decide for herself. After she looked into it, she chose on her own to give peptides a try. Now she's glad she went that route, and I'm glad I could point her toward the information and let her call the shots.

Thanks! Is your mother around the same age? When you first put her on the medication, was her weight in a similar range? And how is she doing now?

My mother is in her 70s. She's not especially large; she takes a very low dose of Tirz for slight weight loss, but mainly for inflammation benefits and GLOW to support her overall health, particularly her joints. She's doing great—she's dropped a bit of weight, but the main thing is her joints feel much better and she's no longer in pain every day.

Is your mom getting assistance from you when it comes to dosing and reconstitution? Mine is 76, and I doubt she'd be able to manage all of that on her own. She's not nearby, though, so I've avoided bringing any of this up with her—I don't want her to get tempted and end up making herself sick.

I'm not close to my mom either. Even so, I made the trip out to see her, and we walked through the whole process together, one step at a time, while she jotted everything down. Every last little thing got written down, and then, with me guiding her, she carried out each step on her own. These days she handles it by herself. During the first few times she did it without me there, she'd ring me up and we'd use FaceTime. My role was just to observe and confirm that she followed her written instructions correctly. At this point she's doing it independently, and she knows she can reach out to me if needed.

I also handed her a full inventory of the supplies...syringes, needles...and so on.

Oh, and after my most recent visit, she's now using a pen, and we covered the pen instructions for loading the cartridge in the same manner described above.

 

[randompersonrandom]

Every one of my relatives can see that I'm on Tirzepatide, since I post about it on Facebook — with 2 exceptions: my mother, who never joined Facebook, and my grandmother, whose news comes secondhand through her daughters. The generation above mine includes some real jackals (my own generation has none of them; I'm the only daughter of the oldest son, and my cousins have always seen me as the older, tough one), and being worried about their opinions isn't something I've ever experienced. They can't affect my life at all and hold no power over me. Snotty comments are the only weapon they have, and after a lifetime of learning that there's no such thing as a "free" shot at me, they're smart enough not to try it.

There WAS 1 recent incident, though: my aunt pulled my much-thinner-now pics off Facebook and showed them to my grandmother, just so they could cluck together about how I'm too thin, need to stop, and pretend to be concerned. That backfired on her, because my grandmother — who has the discretion of a car alarm — phoned my mother to tell her everything and...ask her to make me stop? (I told my mom "their bitterness feeds me and makes me whole," and she said well, you'll never go hungry cause there's plenty to go around). My aunt knows what my grandmother did, and the old coward is keeping quiet because she's afraid I'll let her have it. I won't, I don't care what she says as long as she doesn't bother ME with it, but it makes me happy to know she's going through discomfort as a result of her own bad behavior.

 

[ladyj779]

@randompersonrandom, there's a saying that every eldest daughter takes after her father, and on top of that I'm the only daughter of the oldest son (my dad was the oldest of ten), and there's just something about our temperament that keeps the family from being able to intimidate us

 

[SeaGypsy]

randompersonrandom said:

Every one of my relatives can see that I'm on Tirzepatide, since I post about it on Facebook — with 2 exceptions: my mother, who never joined Facebook, and my grandmother, whose news comes secondhand through her daughters. The generation above mine includes some real jackals (my own generation has none of them; I'm the only daughter of the oldest son, and my cousins have always seen me as the older, tough one), and being worried about their opinions isn't something I've ever experienced. They can't affect my life at all and hold no power over me. Snotty comments are the only weapon they have, and after a lifetime of learning that there's no such thing as a "free" shot at me, they're smart enough not to try it.

There WAS 1 recent incident, though: my aunt pulled my much-thinner-now pics off Facebook and showed them to my grandmother, just so they could cluck together about how I'm too thin, need to stop, and pretend to be concerned. That backfired on her, because my grandmother — who has the discretion of a car alarm — phoned my mother to tell her everything and...ask her to make me stop? (I told my mom "their bitterness feeds me and makes me whole," and she said well, you'll never go hungry cause there's plenty to go around). My aunt knows what my grandmother did, and the old coward is keeping quiet because she's afraid I'll let her have it. I won't, I don't care what she says as long as she doesn't bother ME with it, but it makes me happy to know she's going through discomfort as a result of her own bad behavior.

Hold on — your aunt actually snitched on you!?

Your grandmother has my whole heart

 

[m100568]

Ah, right. That brings to mind a lyric from that Kenny Loggins track, I'm Alright — the one that goes: "If it's nobody's business, it's everybody's game."

 

[juanmecha]

randompersonrandom said:

Every one of my relatives can see that I'm on Tirzepatide, since I post about it on Facebook — with 2 exceptions: my mother, who never joined Facebook, and my grandmother, whose news comes secondhand through her daughters. The generation above mine includes some real jackals (my own generation has none of them; I'm the only daughter of the oldest son, and my cousins have always seen me as the older, tough one), and being worried about their opinions isn't something I've ever experienced. They can't affect my life at all and hold no power over me. Snotty comments are the only weapon they have, and after a lifetime of learning that there's no such thing as a "free" shot at me, they're smart enough not to try it.

There WAS 1 recent incident, though: my aunt pulled my much-thinner-now pics off Facebook and showed them to my grandmother, just so they could cluck together about how I'm too thin, need to stop, and pretend to be concerned. That backfired on her, because my grandmother — who has the discretion of a car alarm — phoned my mother to tell her everything and...ask her to make me stop? (I told my mom "their bitterness feeds me and makes me whole," and she said well, you'll never go hungry cause there's plenty to go around). My aunt knows what my grandmother did, and the old coward is keeping quiet because she's afraid I'll let her have it. I won't, I don't care what she says as long as she doesn't bother ME with it, but it makes me happy to know she's going through discomfort as a result of her own bad behavior.

Most jealousy of this kind tends to stem from bitterness. It shows up as their own unease, because they wish they possessed your level of courage.

At its core, it comes from envy.